Confessions of A Christian Writer

Writing is a lonely activity.

A writer has to wrestle not only with the thoughts that are in his or her mind and which of those thoughts to write about, but the writer must also think about the audience who will receive the words. What is the need of the reader? What effect should the writing have on him or her? What approach and words should be used, and are the phrases, grammar and spelling correct? All these activities are done in solitude; they are a matter of what takes place in the heart and mind of the writer.

As the writer of this blog, I have to make a confession. My thoughts lately have been much like the picture above. Weedy, sharp and barren. Quite honestly, people, things, news, teachings, circumstances, and my own self have been irking me. Outwardly I appear pleasant and relatively happy. But inside, when I wrestle with my thoughts, I have been irked.

Lets get this straight about what I've been feeling. Below are some words to describe my inner attitude. However, I don't think I'm alone in being irked. The chances are good that these words will describe what many other people feel at times, even you! Aggravated, annoyed, bothered, bugged, chafed, disgruntled, displeased, disturbed, driven up the wall, exasperated, frustrated, grated, hassled, incensed, inconvenienced, infuriated, maddened, miffed, nagged, needled, outraged, peeved, pestered, plagued, provoked, put out, riled, rubbed the wrong way, teased, ticked off, tried, vexed, worked up and worried.

The editorial pages of a newspaper and a great number of blogs are peoples' opinions about what is irking them. It is relatively easy to talk or write about things that bother us. It's easy to complain about things or blame others when things go wrong. However, as a Christian writer, I can't do that. I have to be careful how I write. I can't just write to get things off my chest so that I feel better. I have to write in a Christ-like manner. That's not always easy to do. The last few days, I've been struggling with this.

Therefore, this morning, recognizing what I was feeling inside, I turned to Psalm 73. The psalmist Asaph faced the same kind of situation I was faced with. He wrote Psalm 73 because he was envious of the prosperity of the wicked people that he knew. He was irked by them. He had tried to live a good life, and he seemed to be getting nowhere, whereas the bad people seemed to get along just fine. However, despite the psalmist's intense feelings about this, he was careful how he expressed his complaint. He had a holy fear of how his words would affect others. He said, "All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence...If I had said, "I will speak thus," I would have betrayed the generation of Your children." Psalm 73:13,15 The psalmist was restrained in his speaking because of the fear of betraying the people God had put around him.

To think that our words, spoken or written, are powerful enough to betray the generation of people around us is a sobering truth. "Betray" is a strong word. It means to break faith with someone, to deceive them, or to even help their enemy who is against them. I know I would never want to do this to the people around me, and I am confident that you would not want to do that either.

I continued reading Psalm 73 in order to find out what I should talk or write about that proves my loyalty to others. The answer if found very simply and to the point in the last verses of that psalm, but most of all in the last verse. "But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works." Psalm 73:28

In prayer we need to give away our anxieties, complaints, and irritations (the things that irk us) to the Lord to take care of. But to the generation of God's children around us, we need to tell them of the faithfulness of the Lord God as our refuge. By that we prove our loyalty and care for them.

As I struggle in this lonely activity of writing, I know how desperately I'll need God's help to write those things which builds others up. But I know I'm not alone in needing God's help. Any of us who desire to speak or write as Christians will need His help so we aren't sharp, weedy, and barren.

What Am I Trusting In?

The warmer weather of Spring is beginning to melt the ice off of nearby Silver Lake. However, just last month the lake was hosting lots of ice fishermen. Seeing them out there, I've decided, however, that even in the dead of winter, I wouldn't go out on the ice.

Or would I? Under what conditions would I trust the ice?

Well, I could certainly trust the ice if it was twelve inches thick.

However if I went out on this twelve inch thick ice, I'd be sure to take along some ice picks so that if I fell in, I could get back out. I'd wear a wet suit and a life jacket. Oh, and I think I'd like to have a rope tied around my waist and hooked to a big tree on shore; that way I could pull myself back to land with it. And perhaps I'd take a rubber boat along with me. Then I could climb into it if the ice broke and then wait for the Coast Guard helicopter that I had stationed on shore to pick me up. I've heard air boats that can skim across ice or water are good to have nearby to enact a rescue if necessary, so I'd make sure the pilots of those boats are keeping a close eye on me with high powered binoculars- just in case.

Like I said, I would be able to trust twelve inch thick ice on Silver Lake.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

We say we trust in the Lord and then we make contingency plans just as thorough as my plans for going out on the trustworthy ice. Doesn't it seem illogical if we say we trust in something, and then we don't? I probably need to think about this some more.

Seasons Of Life

A close examination of the butt end of a log shows the age of a tree. There's a ring of growth for each year the tree has lived. Some rings are wide and some are narrow. These differing growth rings reflect either the ease or the difficulty of each growth season for the tree.

In like manner, a reflective look back upon our own lives reveals the years of our growth. There are events we remember that reflect healthy, productive seasons of development. And there are events that remind us of times when our lives seem stunted, thirsty, and painfully barren. Our lives are a real mix of these different kind of times. It is to be expected that there are both pleasant and difficult times in our lives.

Unlike trees, however, the easy and hard times in our lives often come to us rapidly in succession. For instance, I've just returned home from spending two weeks out of state, celebrating with my son and his wife the birth of their newest child. That joy of spending time with them and my grandchildren is now changed to a sad, dull ache in my heart because I won't see these loved ones again for many more months. It was a very happy experience to be followed now by an empty span of time.

Our emotions can rise and fall like a roller coaster. For instance, I was glad to see my dear friend at church yesterday, but today I learned she has fallen, and being severely injured, she is in much pain and needs the care of a nursing home. My time to talk and laugh with her has been changed to a time to weep and pray for her.

As we age, changes in our ability to function like we used to in the past always surprises and shames us. For instance, this day was bright and clear and I was able to accomplish a lot of yard work. It felt good to be outside raking the winter debris off my lawn. Then I thought about the need to change the motion detector light on my garage since it hasn't been working for some time. However, I realized that I've aged since I last replaced the detector, and I knew it wasn't wise for me to climb up on a ladder to the peak of my garage to do the repair myself. I have to accept my physical limitations and will need to call on my son or son-in-law to do the repair for me. It's humbling to have to ask for help.

I've always found comfort that the Bible describes there being a time for every matter that occurs in our lives. God recognizes the varying seasons in our lives, even the varying circumstances or emotions that each day brings us. For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; ... a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance... Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ( only parts are quoted) A God who is this forthright in describing our human condition is the one we can trust, not only in the healthy, productive times of our lives, but also in the stunted, thirsty, and painfully barren times of our lives. His desire is that through all these times, our growth rings reveal that we are growing to know Him better.

I'm Still Learning

You'd be surprised, or maybe not, to know how much frustration I've experienced with my computer as I've tried to set up a blog and get it going. A computer geek I am not!

At any rate, my newest blog was written on February 25, but not published until today, March 4. However, my newest blog is listed as an old one. So-o-o-o, please click on the title over on the side called DAVY DOESN'T SWIM VERY WELL. It's the newest blog. Once you read it, you'll know why I wrote the blog early. One just never knows when a new grandchild is going to be born. I wanted to explain to those of you following my blog why you won't hear from me for a few weeks.

Yesterday in my Bible reading I just happened to read this verse:
When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. John 16:21
Four hours after reading that, my son called to say that my grandchild was born. Rejoice with me for a new human being has been born into the world, and I have the priviledge of welcoming this one into my heart with a grandmother's love.