Help To Let Go

I was thinking about all the changes that have occurred in my life over the last decade.  There have been a lot of "letting go" of people and possessions and places where I have fit in.  Most of the "letting go" has not been of my own choice, but have occured as a result of the death of loved ones or my need to down-size to a smaller house and yard because of aging.  My life circumstances had changed, and I had to adapt. 

One way that I choose to "let go" is pictured above.   Ten years ago, the family business had come to an end and it was my responsibility to dispose of everything.  One thing I had to do was figure out what to do with the sign that sat next to the busy highway advertizing our hobby shop.  The sign was composed of two 15 foot tall rockets which I had fabricated from old porch pillars, 4 X 4's, aluminum flashing and plywood, and had painted with our business name. It wasn't easy to know what to do with the rockets; they symbolized 20 years of my husband's Army career and 17 years of our family's life, business, and reputation in our small hometown.  At last, however, I chose to let the rockets go and I consigned them to a bonfire.

It is not easy to "let go"...  However, sometimes it's necessary.  At this time of the year when most of us reflect on the past year and think about the new year to come, we often formulate our plans to change- to live better lives.  Sometimes in the process of "letting go", we may be at a crossroads, and the choices we make of what we keep in our life, what we "let go" of, and what we add may influence our lives and the lives of our loved ones for years to come and into eternity.

It's good to seek God's counsel about how to make good choices for the future when we realize we need to "let go" of things from the past.  In the Bible, Peter gives us very sobering advice concerning this.  He tells us what kind of people we should be as we realize that God is soon coming to judge the world.  "What sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness, waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be set on fire and dissolved, and the elements will melt as they burn!  But according to his (God's) promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells."  2 Peter 3:11-13  

How are we to live in holiness and godliness as we wait for God to fulfil His promises to us?  The Bible tells us to "let go" of stuff that hinders our walk with Jesus and to draw closer to Him.  "But one thing I do; forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal of the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 3:13,14

I don't know about others, but I plan of using the next few days before the new year to ask God to show me if there are things that I need to be willing to "let go" of which are hindering the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Maybe there are others who are considering the same thing.  I'm sure it pleases our Lord when we ask for His help in "letting go".

The Tale Of Two Pianos

"On a whim, I thought I'd go back to my old piano and play a song," the pianist said.  "Oh my!  I couldn't believe it.  It sounded so pathetic!  When that was all I had, I was content.  I didn't know any better.  But now that I have a new piano, a grand piano, I know the difference."

The old piano?   Her parents gave the pianist the best they could afford.  It cost $50.  It was a cast-off piano that had been used in a USO recreational lounge on a military base overseas.  In addition, it had been moved from home to home in military housing as the 'first' piano for beginning piano students.  Someone had started to refinish it; half of it was covered with dirty, cream-colored paint and half of it was stripped down to bare wood.  Deep cigarette burns marked up the flat surfaces.  The pianist's mom finished stripping the paint off the piano and refinished it, masking the cigarette burns by painting over them the look of wood grain. The bench was a kitchen bench salvaged from alongside the curb on trash day and refinished to match the piano.

The piano was shipped back to the states with the rest of the family's goods.  Five more times it was moved.  It was heavier than most pianos, but even so, twice it was moved to the pianist's second floor bedroom!  Having it tuned became more and more of a problem because the action inside the frame was German and parts weren't available in the US.  A resourceful piano tuner fabricated replacement parts as best he could. 

The pianist was gifted and despite the quality of the piano she practiced on, music moved her and moved others when they heard her play. 

The pianist married and the piano went with her to her new home.  Her husband vowed that one day he would buy his bride a different piano- a grand piano.  That seemed  to her like a pipe dream- something fun to think about, but something that would never happen.  The pianist still played her old piano and was content. 

The husband loved his wife.  His vow about a grand piano wasn't just idle words.  It always came back to his mind when his wife played.  When the pianist and her husband moved to a farm, the husband made sure the central, light, airy room of the farmhouse was left empty.  He called it the 'piano room'.  He said that one day that was where the grand piano would go and he would install a chandelier above it.

The day came.  The pianist came home in the evening from work and gracing the 'piano room' was a brand new grand piano!  Her beaming husband sat next to it.  It was his gift of love to his bride.  Even to this day, the pianist can barely believe it.  Music has never sounded so wonderful to her! 

And so it came as an utter surprise to the pianist when she recently went back to play a song on the old piano and discovered how pathetic it sounded.  It wasn't that the piano was so much out of tune, but that after a note was played, there was always a discordant twang that lingered.  Additionally, the old felts on the hammers, despite being filed to size, continued to sporaticially hit adjacent notes.  However, most disconcerting to the pianist was the sluggish, unresponsive touch of the keys.  She said it felt like hitting a pillow when she played; there was no instantaneous response of the keys to her fingers tips. She couldn't create the music her soul longed to express.

The difference between the old piano and the new piano reminded me of what the Bible explains about mankind's two natures.  From our parents we inherited the best they had; they gave us our innate human nature.  It was adequate for us to learn how to function (for better or worse) in this world.  However, as we all know, human nature is flawed.  It is not what God had intended from the beginning.  Mankind is unresponsive to the touch of God, just as the old piano is unresponsive to the touch of the pianist's fingers.

However, when we are joined to Jesus Christ, we become new people.  We are literally given a new nature that can indeed be responsive to the touch of God, just as the new piano is sensitive and fully responsive to the pianist's fingers.  This new nature comes to us because we belong to someone new; we are the bride of  Christ and no longer children of the world, just as the new piano came to the pianist from her husband and not from her poverty-stricken parents.  The new nature comes as a gift.  Just as the pianist's husband vowed to provide a grand piano for his bride, the One who died for our sins promises us this new life that is sensitive to God's will.

This tale of two pianos explains for me what the Bible talks about in Romans 4- 8 and is alluded to in Jeremiah 31:31-34 and in Ezekiel 36:25-28.  What a gift!  To be responsive to the heart and soul and touch of God!  I like the knowledge of that!

Frozen Stiff

Years ago, on wintery days like the picture above, my mother wasn't able to hang the family wash outside to dry.  Instead, after running our bedding and clothing through the wringer washer and wash tubs every Monday morning, she hung the wet clothes on lines my dad had strung up in the woodshed.  Since there was no heat in that building, Monday evening my mom brought the laundry back into the house to finish drying it over a rack of wooden bars in the dining room.  What I remember best was my mom's attempt to bring my dad's long johns back into the house.  They were frozen stiff!   My mom tried as best as she could to manuver the freezing-cold, flat garments with stiff outstretched arms and legs through the doorway, but it was wasn't easy.

I thought of those frozen long johns the other day when I read a selection from one of J. I. Packer's books called Knowing God.  Packer writes  "Constantly we find ourselves slipping into bitterness and apathy and gloom as we reflect on past disappointments and present heartbreaks, which we frequently do.  The attitude we show to the world is a sort of dried-up stoicism, miles removed from the 'joy unspeakable and full of glory' (1 Peter 1:8) that Peter took for granted his readers were displaying."  Since it was on a nasty, freezing, and snowy day that I read this selection from J. I. Packer, I imagined that "dried-up stoicism" was about the same as "frozen, stiff long johns".

I don't know about others, but I find that I slip into bitterness and apathy and gloom at times.  I wouldn't be surprised that during this Christmas season, there are many others who, when reflecting on past disappointments and present heartbreaks, also slip into bitterness and apathy and gloom.  Somehow we manage to function outwardly when we are around others celebrating the season's festivities, but inwardly our emotions and spirits are stiff and cold, and we know it!  We can fool others, but we can't fool ourselves or God. 

There is a request made of God in Psalm 51 that seems appropriate for me and other Christian's to pray when they feel overwhelmed and emotionally frozen at this time of the year.  In Psalm 51 David, the Psalmist, confesses his sin and asks God to have mercy upon him according to His steadfast love.  David also makes this request of God: Restore to me the joy of your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit. (Psalm 51:12).

That sounds like a good prayer for this harried, frantic time of year.  What do you think?

Leonard The Lamb

My mind runs through memories of the holiday season.  My husband's favorite Christmas movie was  What A Wonderful Life, the heartwarming story of a man discovering the importance of his well-lived, generous life.  On the other hand, my favorite movie is The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, the story of the renegade Herdman children bringing wild adventure to a usually calm Christmas program.  It reminds me of a event I want to share here.  I've already included it in my annual Christmas letter.

It happened during the children's annual Christmas pageant at the Free Methodist Church in Huntsville, Alabama in 1975.   A soft murmer rippled through the congregation after the shepherds arrived at the manger, because, in the subdued lighting while a teenager sang O Holy Night, it appeared that one of the shepherds held a real live lamb.  The shepherd held the lamb tightly in his arms while the lamb gazed around at everything and then finally snuggled closer to the shepherd in loving confidence.  However, it wasn't a real live lamb; it was a puppet.  Our family still has this puppet; we call him Leonard the Lamb.  How he came to be is an amazing story!

That was the year I volunteered to do the costumes for the Christmas program.  I made the three wise men's crowns by gluing gaudy costume jewelry onto strips of indoor/outdoor carpet with liquid nails.  Then I recycled used bathrobes, coat linings, and bed covers into robes for Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, and the wise men.  At one point, I turned the fleece-lined hood of an old jacket inside out.  When I threw the hood on the floor with scraps of cloth as useless, it landed in such a way that it reminded me of the shape of a lamb's head.  Picking the hood back up, I began envisioning it as a puppet for my ten-year-old son Mark to carry as a shepherd.  I knew I could teach him how to make the puppet move realistically.

And so, I fashioned Leonard the Lamb out of the fleece of the jacket hood, adding glossy black buttons as eyes and gluing on a yarn black nose.  I put a Styrofoam ball inside the head for shape and fashioned a bent coat hanger to make the ears stick out and be moveable.  But then I was stymied because I didn't have any more fabric with which to make ears.  In desperation, I cut a 2" by 2" square out of one side of the puppet's neck and used it to make the ears.  I told my son he'd have to be careful to only let one side of the lamb's neck show since the other side had a big square hole in it. 

A few days later, in the mail came samples of sewing materials, fabrics, that I could order from a certain company.  I had never ever heard of the company, nor had I ever bought fabric from anyone through the mail.  I had never had such an offer before, nor have I ever had such an offer since.  There were a few swatches of dark polyester trouser material in the envelope, and there was also a 2" by 2" square of fleece that was nearly an identical color and texture as Leonard the Lamb.  At once I sewed the square into the puppet's neck.  It fit the hole exactly!  And it was barely noticeable!  If you look closely at the picture above, you might be able to see the square of slightly different fleece in the middle and the bottom of Leonard's neck.

The arrival of that swatch of matching material wasn't just a coincidence.  It was an example of God's watch care and grace.  As I recall that event of thirty-four years ago, I continue to be amazed that God cared about Leonard the Lamb who was merely a puppet.  I learned an unforgetable lesson from that event-- If God cared for that inanimate puppet to be made whole, surely He cares that much for me.

That's the message of Christmas itself.  God loved us so much that He sent Jesus, His Son, to earth as a human being, so that one day on the cross Jesus would be the sacrificial lamb to take away our sins.  Truly, to be whole, we need God's healing of our past and the wrongs done to us.  That is what Jesus was born to accomplish. 

Perhaps that is why a movie about a Christmas pageant is my favorite Christmas movie-- it reminds me of this lesson I learned long ago.

Tribute To Irene

I was surprised to read Irene’s obituary last week. Irene was 66 years old.

Irene and I were born the same week in the same hospital. Our mothers were roommates, and as a result, a lifelong friendship developed between our families. As a very young child, I remember playing with Irene. The picture above is Irene and I on the lawn of my childhood home. Later on, at the time Irene was 3 or 4 years old, she was placed in an institution for the physically and mentally handicapped. That was what was done with profoundly handicapped people back then. I never saw Irene again.

Over the years, I occasionally thought about this girl who was my own age and I wondered what had become of her. There seemed to be an unspoken understanding that none of us would talk about Irene. I became good friends with her mother, and as an artist, Irene’s mother encouraged me for years in my own artwork. I wonder, now, if my presence in her life reminded her of Irene and made her sad for her own daughter.

A few years ago, someone is the state system of the Office of Retardation, upon hearing what town I lived in, asked me if I knew an Irene who was originally from my town. Yes, it was the Irene I knew. I found out that Irene was in a wheelchair and dependent upon others for all of her care. I was told that she had beautiful snow-white hair. Just like her mom, I thought to myself. I put it on my “to-do” list to travel to see Irene even though I knew she wouldn’t know who I was. Somehow, I always felt a kinship to this early playmate of mine. But, I never got around to traveling to see Irene. Now, it’s too late!

Society changes and its way of dealing with its handicapped citizens has changed. Institutionalizing those with disabilities is no longer the primary recommendation that medical and educational experts advise.

It was 30 years after Irene and I were born, that my third child developed a serious seizure disorder with its resulting retardation. No one suggested that my son be institutionalized. There were government and educational services available to help him remain at home and be a part of his family. How thankful I am for that, because this son is a special blessing to our family. The picture above shows my son as a youngster in his snowmobile helmet with full-face guard that permitted him to play without being injured from his dozens of sudden falls each day. Over the years, the seizures lessened, and he no longer had to wear a helmet. During that time, he had wonderful special education teachers in school and excellent neurologists to monitor his medications. Now, as an adult, he lives in a group home, works at a sheltered workshop, and he has friends and activities he likes to do.

What can be said about the value of a person who had such a limited life experience as Irene or about my son who will need daily help and supervision for the rest of his life? Jesus spoke about these handicapping conditions in a conversation with his disciples. Listen to this episode from the Bible: “As Jesus passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ Jesus answered, ‘It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.’” (John 9:1-3)

I don’t understand how it all works, but Jesus affirms that in some manner, individuals afflicted with severe handicaps are a necessary part of God’s way to display His works in this world. God’s sovereignty to create each human person, as He deems best, and His sovereignty to dispense to them abilities or withhold abilities is God’s right. He is the Potter; we are the clay.

I believe with all my heart that Irene was one of God’s special creations, made above all to display the handiwork of God in some mysterious and magnificent manner. Human eyes would look at her, pity her, and question her worth. But according to the Word of God, in some manner the works of God were displayed in her. What greater worth can anyone have than that?

Irene, this is my tribute to you.

Montezuma Swamp

Birds I hadn’t seen before- that’s what I wanted to see! So, I looked through my birding book and found that about two hours away from home was a mysterious sounding place called the Montezuma Swamp. It’s a national wildlife refuge and an especially important place for migrating birds in the spring and fall. Just the place for me to find new birds!

Planning to make a day of it, I hooked my small camping trailer behind my car, and off I went. I passed three of New York’s Finger Lakes and went through several good-sized towns, and finally, I saw the sign- MONTEZUMA NATIONAL WILDLIFE REFUGE. After driving half an hour slowly beside acres and acres and acres of cattails, I finally found the perfect place- a small parking lot next to a small shallow lake surrounded by… you guessed it- acres and acres and acres of cattails. To get past the visual distraction of the cattails, there was a birding observation tower to climb that looked out over the lake. Actually, the lake is called a pool, Tschache Pool (pronounced ‘shocky’).

The birds on the lake were a long ways from me, and even with my binoculars, I didn’t have any idea of what I was seeing. At last, a very elderly gentleman climbed the tower with his tripod and spotting scope, and he gave me a guided tour through his spotting scope of what I was looking at. The most exciting thing to see was four bald eagles! I was actually looking at real, live bald eagles! There was an adult eagle with its distinctive white head, and three of its offspring with their first year, all-over brown plumage. One of the huge juveniles took off and soared through the sky to my delight!

I was thinking about how I had to go to where the birds were, and especially to where the bald eagle was in order to see it. Because I was desperate enough to see new birds, I had to go to the Montezuma Swamp.

At the same time, I’ve been thinking about people who say that they don’t know about God- what He is like- but they want to know Him. In addition, I’ve been thinking about Christians who say that they just don’t seem to be able to live as Christ Jesus would want them to live because they feel defeated and spiritually powerless. These kinds of people say they are desperate for a deeper, more meaningful spiritual life. However, they are not alone. I’ve also been thinking about how I can get into a slump, and Christianity seems sort of ‘ho-hum’ to me. I know that isn’t right.

At those times, our actions show whether we are really desperate for more of God. Let’s think about it. If we want to buy some socks, Tylenol, and a CD, do we know where to go? Certainly! We go to WalMart. If we want to get a new car, do we know where to go? Certainly! We go to the car dealer in town. If we have an abscessed tooth, do we know where to go? Certainly! We go to the dentist. If we are out of bread, do we know where to go? Certainly! We go to the grocery store. Why then, when other people and I are spiritually hungry, are we mystified about where to go?

Jesus said, “ Man shall not live on bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4) Therefore, if we want to live spiritually- really live spiritually!- then we need to be feeding on the word of God. We need to go to the Bible and read it. Through God’s Word we see God clearly and hear his heartbeat of gracious mercy that He is bestowing upon mankind. Through God’s Word, we see who Jesus is and hear His promise to satisfy spiritual hunger.

If we are desperate for more of God, we need to look steadily and carefully at what we are reading in the Bible. Sometimes we even need a wiser and more spiritually mature person- one who eagerly studies the Bible himself or herself- to come alongside to point out and identify what we are reading. It’s just like the elderly man who identified the birds that I was seeing yesterday. I asked him why he kept coming back for so many years to look at the birds. He said there was always something new to see and learn. It’s that way with reading the Bible if we are desperate enough.

It’s simple to understand. Where do we go to see birds? To the Montezuma Swamp. Were do we go if we’re spiritually hungry? To the Bible!

Monster Swells and Crashing Waves?

It was a sunny, pleasant day at the state park next to Lake Ontario. There was a gentle breeze and just a hint of fall in the air. Canadian geese and seagulls flew overhead. Only one sailboat could be seen on the horizon. Small waves lapped the shore.

As I meandered along the beach next to the water, I spotted a piece of driftwood that was worthy of a photo. I sat in the sand just above the water line and aimed my camera at the driftwood; I was waiting for just the right background wave to complement the driftwood in the foreground. I watched the swells of water out a ways, trying to judge the biggest and best one that would crest at the right moment for my photo.

As minutes passed, I studied the waves more and more. Then, I set down the camera and picked up my binoculars to aim at the swells and cresting waves. Whereas, before, I was perfectly content to be just a foot away from the water, suddenly, fear gripped me at the frightening magnitude of the oncoming swell and the force of the crashing wave in front of me. By looking through the binoculars I was sure I was about to be overwhelmed with a Tsunami and be swept out to sea!

Quickly, I pulled the binoculars down to look and be sure I was still safe above the water line. I remembered a verse in the Bible that says that God set the boundaries of how far the waters of the seas can come up on the land. Once I got that thought in my head and decided I could trust the truth of it, I looked through the binoculars again and began to enjoy the magnified illusion of frightening, monstrous swells and violently crashing waves before my eyes. God was not going to- all of a sudden- violate the physical laws of nature and let the water come up and grab me! As a result, I felt safe to continue to enjoy the adrenaline rush of being frightened.

Since then, however, I’ve wondered what it was within me that wanted to continue to “feel” scared by looking at the illusion of monstrous swells and crashing waves through the safety of binoculars. I wonder if it is like the thrill of riding a roller coaster- a frightening, but safe experience.

However, there are times when adrenaline-producing experiences aren’t safe. Some people like to live on that edge. They like to push themselves beyond the point of safety. Some examples might be- people who participate in extreme sports, people who push their bodies beyond the point of exhaustion to get rich, people who get involved in street drugs, people who have the money but won’t replace bald tires on their car, or people who assume pornography won’t hurt their marriage. Those are only a few situations that quickly come to mind. There are a multitude of risky behaviors we engage in-or have engaged in- if we stop to think about it.

TheBible talks about these things. God’s personality is such that He cares intensely for the welfare of all mankind. For that reason, when people deliberately put themselves in harm’s way and presume upon God’s kindness to watch over them, it is called “putting God to the test”. Jesus said, “You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.”

Jesus said he came to earth that we could have life and have it abundantly. I've been thinking over the difference between living abundantly and living by putting God to the test. Sometimes it's not easy to know which of those we are doing. We probably ought to think about it and ask God to show us which we are doing- living recklessly or living abundantly.

If you need wisdom- if you want to know what God wants you to do- ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. James 1:4,5

Finishing What Is Started

You are no doubt asking yourself what this is. Let me explain.

Shortly after 9/11 while I was having pizza with my daughter-in-law at DeSalvo's in Warsaw, an idea came into my head for a book. Most of us were still trying to understand the events of the terrorist attack against the US, and I had been doing the same thing. The idea that came to me concerned how Christian young people living in a country completely devastated by enemy occupation could have their faith nurtured if Bibles and churches were outlawed. The idea seemed full blown in my mind as an adventure story like the Hardy Boy books we've all read. Yet it was to be far more. It was to be a lengthy allegory explaining the person of Jesus. Having been a Bible study leader for years, I recognized that the idea came by God's nudge through the Holy Spirit. I grabbed a napkin and scribbled down the main ideas of the book's plot, and then I returned to eating pepperoni pizza.

As the days went by, I thought more about the book I was to write. I knew I had to do watercolor paintings to accompany the storyline and I'd need models to draw from. I bought six artist's manikins and began making faces on them by using light cardboard, freezer tape, acrylic paint, and fuzzy pieces of hair. Then I sewed clothing appropriate for each character. As I did all of that, I thought a lot about each character's personality and how they would fit into the story line. These 'people' became very real to me.

Now, eight years later, I'm on the third major revision of the book. There are forty three chapters, 150,000 words (more or less), sixty watercolors and an appendix of over three hundred of the names of Jesus that are in the Bible. I have plans to self publish the book later this year. The book's called AFTER THE DEVASTATIONS- THE JOURNEY.

I've had a lot!!!! of computer problems in the process of writing, formatting, scanning pictures, etc in the last eight years. It was early this spring that more computer problems brought me to needing high-speed Internet, and as a result of exploring those opportunities, I starting experimenting with writing blogs accompanied by my photos. I have enjoyed this activity and in the future I hope to continue writing more blogs.

However, in the meantime, I need to do something else. As I study the Word of God, I am becoming more and more convinced that the days ahead will be full of great tribulation for Christians before the soon return of Jesus Christ. I really need to get the book finished and published as soon as I can; it is meant to be a source of encouragement to Christians going through hard times. Bibles and gatherings of Christian believers are being outlawed in more and more places in this world. These difficult times are most likely to come upon us here in the United States, too. Believers need to know the person of Jesus better as they face these times. The book I've written is not only an entertaining adventure story, but it highlights the excellency of who Jesus Christ is. The book needs to be finished.

This morning I read in the Bible, God's admonition to us of what we are to do as we begin to recognize the signs of Jesus' soon return: But watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life, and that day come upon you suddenly like a trap. For it will come upon all who dwell on the face of the whole earth. Luke 21:34,35

Being weighed down with dissipation- that phrase spoke to my heart. Writing blogs is dissipating my time and energy. I've been scattering my mental attention and efforts. Writing blogs is not sinful. But for me, at this time, it is taking away my focus from publishing the book about Jesus. Revising, editing and formatting a book is incredibly hard, boring work! No wonder I've enjoyed the easier fun of blogging. But I need to finish the book that I started.

I want to thank all of you who have encouraged me in my blogging efforts. Your kind words have meant a lot to me. God willing, I'll return to blogging by the end of the year.

But in the meantime, with God's help I'm going to finish what I started.

Birdwatching Honesty

Double Crested Cormorant

I wanted some kind of excuse to be walking more. Not just walking anywhere, but outside in the woods and fields, the places I loved to roam as a child. So I took up birdwatching last summer with the intent of making colored pencil sketches of the various kinds of birds I spotted. (I allowed myself the liberty of using bird ID pictures to draw from once I spotted a bird in the wild. A picture in a book sits still long enough to draw from!)

In the early part of summer, I had managed to spot in my back yard and draw the common birds: a robin, a goldfinch, a house sparrow, etc. However, as time went on, I knew I had to visit other habitats to find more birds to draw. That endeavor found me and my son strolling alongside the Silver Lake outlet on an old railroad bed. We had our binoculars with us, but not our cameras or bird ID books.

Suddenly, across the water, I saw a large darkish bird on a bare tree branch that kept stretching its neck up high. It had light stripes of feathers on its breast, and it kept fluffing its feathers on its back and nervously jerking its tail. I clearly saw a crest on its head and a large bill when it turned its head sideways. Its feet looked yellow-greenish. My son and I watched the bird for quite sometime until it took off and flew past us, a large and dark bird.

When I got home I poured over the bird ID books. No bird quite fit the description, but at last I decided to settle on the bird being a Double Crested Cormorant. That bird fit most of the features I saw. Quite a rare water bird for our area. I was thrilled to make a sketch of the bird.

Bird watching books warn birders that they have such a great desire to spot new varieties of birds to add to their Life List, that they are tempted to claim to make a sighting when in fact, a clear identification isn't possible. Well, that's what I did! I was dishonest with myself. Because I wanted so badly to draw another bird in my sketch book, I deceived myself that I had made a proper identification. I had done what the Bible talks about- The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it. Jeremiah 17:9

The next week my deceitful heart was revealed to me. I found that my motive of desperately wanting a new bird to sketch made me dishonest with the facts right before my eyes.

Juvenile Green Heron

The next week I spotted a huge, snow white bird take off from a marshy area next to the parking lot where I was standing. The bird flew right past me! A magnificent stately bird with its neck tucked into an S curve and long legs trailing out behind it. Of course, when I got home I looked up what kind of bird it was. There was no mistaking its identity; it was a Great Egret.

However, in the process of identifying that huge, white bird, in my reading I discovered that the dark bird I had seen the week before next to the Silver Lake outlet matched the description of a different bird than I thought! What I had really seen was a Juvenile Green Heron with its yellow-green legs, not a Cormorant, a bird with webbed black feet. (I had chosen to ignore the color of the feet.) Besides that, the Green Heron was far more apt to be found in the wooded, watery location where I was, whereas a Cormorant is found in more open waters of the Great Lakes. (I had chosen to ignore the fact of the habitat I was in.)

To those of you who are reading this blog who are not bird watchers, all these details have, no doubt, been more than you ever wanted to know about birding. However, a birder reading this account would identify with me how easy it is to deceive ourselves when wanting to identify a new bird.

In the same manner, I think it is very easy to deceive ourselves in our motives in almost all the things we do. We might be doing something very nice thing for someone else, when in reality our true purpose is to get that person obligated to us (to owe us a favor). We might give large amounts of money to a popular fund raiser, when in reality we don't care about the cause, but we want to be regarded as generous in the eyes of the public. We might sing praises to the Lord in the church choir, when in reality our motive is to show off before others. We might be friendly to others ,not just because its the right thing to do, but because having other people like us boosts our ego.

Quite honestly, when we begin to examine our motives, I believe that anything we do has mixed motives. The motive of doing things to benefit others is mixed with the motive that brings selfish benefits to ourselves. The Bible speaks of the dilemma this puts us in. The Bible and God can see though the deceptions of our hearts to see the true motives of our hearts. For the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from His (God's) sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:12,13

Our motives are a mixture of good and bad, charitable and selfish, especially when we compare ourselves with the living Word of God. God will hold us accountable for those mixed motives. Identifying a bird wrongly is of no eternal consequence. Standing before God with besmirched motives has eternal consequences. The shed blood of Jesus is adequate to forgive this kind of sin. How thankful I am for that!

Looking At The Sky

Majestic! Is there any other word that can describe these clouds?

Awesome! Light breaking through the darkness takes our breath away.

Glorious! How else to describe such a beautiful sunrise?

People respond instinctively to magnificent displays of grandeur in the sky. They use words like 'majesty', 'awesome', and 'glorious'. Yet the words we use usually fall short of the response we feel to view such splendor. And it's no wonder our words aren't adequate. Sunrises and sunsets are a reflection of God's gladness. "You (O God) make the going out of the morning and the evening to shout for joy." Psalm 65:8b

God's majesty! God's joy! These things can be known about God through what we see in God's creation, in this case, in the skies. The Bible says: For what can be known about God is plain to them (mankind), because God has shown it to them. For His invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in things that have been made." Romans 1:19,20a

Isn't it wonderful that the warmth of spring has arrived so that we can be outside more? We can go out doors without winter coats and boots, and we can see and reflect upon the new life God is bringing forth. In the creation we see the revelation of God's attributes, His eternal power and divine nature. Even when we look up at the skies we see evidence of His majesty. Let us be glad as he is glad!

Little Foxes

"Twenty eight, twenty nine... " the owner said. "Where's chicken number thirty? Another one's missing! What's taking my chickens?"

A week later, lots of white feathers were on the lawn. It was evidence of a struggle between another missing rooster and some kind of animal. Away from the hen house and down in the gully were more feathers, evidence that the rooster wasn't killed immediately and had continued to struggle before being killed. Unfortunately, the rain had washed away the tracks of the aggressor. What kind of animal was stealing and killing the chickens? Was it the neighbor's dog? A coyote? A fox? A bobcat? A bear? There was no way to tell. The chicken owner started to keep a sharp eye out for the culprit, whatever it was. He kept his rifle at hand.

It was a week later. The owner saw a red fox trotting up the gully heading straight for the hen house. Now the owner knew what he was dealing with. However, the fox spooked and ran off before the owner could get his rifle. None the less, now, the owner knew what he had to do to protect his flock. He couldn't be there 24 hours a day with his rifle to protect them, so he did the next best thing. Within hours, he had driven dozens of iron stakes into the ground and surrounded the hen house and field with 400 feet of mesh fence pulled down tight against the earth. Now his treasure was safe from the fox.

Foxes eat not only meat, but also grass and fruit. The Bible has an interesting verse about foxes. It's found in Song of Solomon. In that passage a lover is talking to his beloved. Using the metaphor of little foxes, the lover says that it's vitally important for the two of them to protect their mutual relationship from things that will damage it. In a poetic way, the lover says that his beloved must be especially vigilant to keep their budding relationship intact. He gives her a warning that needed to be heeded. He says to his beloved, "Let me see your face, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom." Song of Solomon 2:14b, 15

What does this mean, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards? I think it means the little cutting remarks that a wife makes about her husband in his presence or when she is with her girl friends. I hear women belittle their husbands all the time, at places where I have worked and at places where I socialize with other women. I've heard church women put down their husbands just as readily as women outside the church. I wonder how a man must feel to know that the woman whose voice is sweet to him and whose face is lovely to him (that's why he married her!) is habitually bad mouthing him, allowing little foxes of contempt to destroy what is precious in their relationship.

The Bible instructs us wives how to treat our husbands. "An excellent wife who can find?...The heart of her husband trusts in her... She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12 (parts) A major way a woman does good to her husband is to praise him, rather than to bring shame upon him with her words. Women who continue to belittle their husbands are as negligent as a chicken owner who would build no fence, but instead leave his flock to the mercy of a hungry fox.

Heavy Burden

All too frequently we hear of mass murders. The most recent was only a few hours away from here where new immigrants were learning English. We shake our heads and say, "None of this makes any sense! How can man do this to one another?" We wonder where God is in all of this.

Yesterday I ran across a song that was sung at a memorial after sixteen school children and their teacher were killed by a gunman in Scotland in 1996. In speaking to God, the song lyrics went: We cannot measure how You heal or answer every sufferer's prayer, yet we believe Your grace responds where faith and doubt unite. (We Cannot Measure How You Heal- by John Bell)

Indeed there are times when we have to put one foot in front of the other and keep functioning even when life has become a terribly confusing weight. It's at those times that we wonder how we can go on. The burden seems too heavy to carry by ourselves. It's at these times that although we can't understand how God is working, even in all our doubt, we can still call out to God in faith. We need His help. We call out to Him for grace in order to make it through the day, or the hour, or the next few minutes of suffering.

How does God's grace come to us? What is one of the most common ways for His grace to come? I think it's when a friend comes alongside us and lets us talk. A friend who does not judge us or try to fix things. Just simply a friend with a listening heart and time to spare to be with us. The Bible says: Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 I believe a true friend does this for us and is the evidence of God's grace.

Just like in the picture above where a heavy slab of concrete is being carried by two people, in the same way a burden of the soul is halved when someone helps us carry it. To bear one another's burden is the supreme imitation of Jesus, the ultimate burden bearer, the one who bore all our sins and hurts on the cross.

I pray that God will always bring someone to come alongside of me when I need a friend, and likewise, I pray that I will be sensitive to others and listen with a caring heart when others are in need. As a follower of Jesus, doing the will of God is not a mysterious, unfathomable pilgrimage. Serving Him is as practical and simple as listening to others in their need.

Historical Journal

I kept a journal of our family's camping trips.

Our first camping trip was in Huntsville, Ala. in 1976. Our four children ranged in ages from 3-11. We made three serious mistakes on that first experience with our new (used) pop-up tent camper. First of all, we forgot a can openner. Second of all, we parked at the far end of the campground and found out that in the middle of the night, the walk to the bathrooms is long and dark for us with our young children. Third of all, we found that by parking at the rear of the campground, unknown to us, we had camped right next to a train track. In the middle of the night when the approaching train blew its horn for a nearing crossing, we were jolted awake to hear the train and see its headlight that seemed to be bearing straight down upon us! That's not an experience one forgets!

Our last camping trip was on the edge of the steep gully bank of the family farm in Leicester, NY. in 1984. Our children ranged in ages from 11-19. We left the camper up for the summer. The sap from the trees in the woods and the hot sun ruined the canvas that year, but we didn't have it replaced. We had settled into a different lifestyle, the children were involved in other things, and so, there were no more camping trips. The camper fell into ruin. Just the journal of good memories is left from that time.

In reading through the Bible, I came across an entire chapter that is likewise a camping journal. It's Numbers 33. It reads like this: Moses wrote down their starting places, stage by stage... So the people of Israel set out from Rameses and camped at Succoth. And they set out from Succoth and camped at Etham, which is on the edge for the wilderness. And they set out from Etham and turned back to Pi-hahiroth, which is east of Baal-zehpon, and they camped befoe Migdol... Numbers 33:2,5-7 This whole chapter is the camping journal which describes the route which the Israelites took after God set them free from slavery in Egypt.

I continue to be amazed how God has revealed Himself to us. There are spiritual truths about Himself and about us that He wants us to learn. To do that, He took a certain family, the family of Abraham, and has make sure the story of that family has been preserved, camping trips and all, so that we can know for sure the historical accuracy of what has taken place when God interacts with human beings. The Bible is not made-up fables as some people say. It is a historical document of actual happenings.

This week we will celebrate Easter. Easter celebrates the historical event of a man that was resurrected to life after being dead for three days. This man claimed to be the Son of God by His actions and His teachings. He claimed to have overcome death and sin by His death on a cross, and by His burial and resurrection. How thankful I am that the Bible (which has proved to be trustworthy in listing campgrounds in the wilderness) is also trustworthy when it describes this one who has been raised from death. Jesus is the name of this one.

Up To Date News!

Most of us are fascinated by royalty.

How we learn about royalty has changed dramatically in the last 70 years. I remember finding my great aunt Estelle's notebook of important newspaper clippings when my dad was settling her estate in the mid 1960's. In the notebook I found yellowed, crinkled pictures of Queen Elizabeth's coronation. The pictures were pasted in her notebook with the homemade paste my aunt used (flour mixed with water). I remember being surprised at the number of pictures my aunt had found of the coronation. I was even more surprised to realize how fascinated my aunt was with the pageantry of the royal event. She just didn't seem the kind of person to place that much value on the event, but obviously she did!

Then I remember the event of Prince Charles's wedding to Lady Diana. That was before satellite transmission of news. My family and I were glued to the TV waiting for the first plane to arrive in New York from London with a video tape of the event so that it could be telecast in the US. Every hour or so, another plane was dispatched from London with more video. In that manner, we watched the royal wedding only 5 hours after it occurred.

Last night I decided to try to master more of my computer's high speed ability (keep in mind that I am new at surfing the net), and I spent my time locating what I consider the best sources of national and international news (I like to know what's going on in the world). And there it was! A video of President Obama and his wife greeting Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip in Buckingham palace. Not only could I see the event, but I could hear their conversation. Wow, I never expected to hear what kind of small talk a Queen makes! But there it was! She asked President Obama if he was suffering from jet lag, and he answered that he had just had breakfast with the Russian and Japanese ambassadors, and he hadn't fallen asleep while talking with them. After that, the next video showed Queen Elizabeth standing in line methodically meeting all of the 20 heads of state convening in London for economic talks. She shook each person's hand and said a few words to them individually. It was fascinating for me to look behind the Queen at the palace furniture and the hallway. I am still amazed this morning to realize I could see the royal demeanour of the Queen in these important matters of state and actually be inside her palace and hear her conversation. How remarkable to be able to do that!

From yellowed newspaper clippings, to video tapes flown in by plane, to instant communication by satellite. Technology and information has improved. I marvel!

But even more, I marvel when I read the Bible! It is more up-to-date than the Internet news. There is so much Bible prophecy that has been fulfilled in the last 70 years. But I believe more is about to be fulfilled.

There is prophecy that before the culmination of this age there will be a charismatic leader who will be given control over the whole world. He will seem to be a deliverer from the violence and the economic woes that are in every nation, but in reality he is a wickedly, deceptive person. Many of the things that will happen when this leader reigns are now possible because of the technology that allowed me to see Queen Elizabeth in Buckingham palace last night. This charismatic, wicked leader will lead at a time when people will go here and there searching out ever increasing knowledge, a time when every human being on the face of the earth can be individually monitored for their activity and purchases, and a time when 2 powerful prophets will be killed in Jerusalem and the whole world will be able to simultaneously view their dead bodies in that place for 3 days. All these prophecies can be fulfilled at any time now because of computers, satellite transmission and the Internet. Never before in man's history have these things been possible. Now these things are possible!

And yet, despite all this mushrooming amount of news, technology, and possibilities, what is the most important news for us? What is the most up-to-date matter all of us need to know. Is it how leaders and royalty interact at conferences and in palaces? No. The Bible tells us the one most important thing for us to know. "For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures." 1 Corinthians 15:3,4

Easter is a little over a week away. At that time we are reminded of Jesus death, burial, and resurrection. The Bible proclaims that this yearly remembered event in the history of mankind is the news of first importance. That my sins can be forgiven and that Jesus triumphed over death (and so shall I by simply believing in him) is the most up to date news I'll ever hear. Over this I marvel more than over news about royalty.

Confessions of A Christian Writer

Writing is a lonely activity.

A writer has to wrestle not only with the thoughts that are in his or her mind and which of those thoughts to write about, but the writer must also think about the audience who will receive the words. What is the need of the reader? What effect should the writing have on him or her? What approach and words should be used, and are the phrases, grammar and spelling correct? All these activities are done in solitude; they are a matter of what takes place in the heart and mind of the writer.

As the writer of this blog, I have to make a confession. My thoughts lately have been much like the picture above. Weedy, sharp and barren. Quite honestly, people, things, news, teachings, circumstances, and my own self have been irking me. Outwardly I appear pleasant and relatively happy. But inside, when I wrestle with my thoughts, I have been irked.

Lets get this straight about what I've been feeling. Below are some words to describe my inner attitude. However, I don't think I'm alone in being irked. The chances are good that these words will describe what many other people feel at times, even you! Aggravated, annoyed, bothered, bugged, chafed, disgruntled, displeased, disturbed, driven up the wall, exasperated, frustrated, grated, hassled, incensed, inconvenienced, infuriated, maddened, miffed, nagged, needled, outraged, peeved, pestered, plagued, provoked, put out, riled, rubbed the wrong way, teased, ticked off, tried, vexed, worked up and worried.

The editorial pages of a newspaper and a great number of blogs are peoples' opinions about what is irking them. It is relatively easy to talk or write about things that bother us. It's easy to complain about things or blame others when things go wrong. However, as a Christian writer, I can't do that. I have to be careful how I write. I can't just write to get things off my chest so that I feel better. I have to write in a Christ-like manner. That's not always easy to do. The last few days, I've been struggling with this.

Therefore, this morning, recognizing what I was feeling inside, I turned to Psalm 73. The psalmist Asaph faced the same kind of situation I was faced with. He wrote Psalm 73 because he was envious of the prosperity of the wicked people that he knew. He was irked by them. He had tried to live a good life, and he seemed to be getting nowhere, whereas the bad people seemed to get along just fine. However, despite the psalmist's intense feelings about this, he was careful how he expressed his complaint. He had a holy fear of how his words would affect others. He said, "All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence...If I had said, "I will speak thus," I would have betrayed the generation of Your children." Psalm 73:13,15 The psalmist was restrained in his speaking because of the fear of betraying the people God had put around him.

To think that our words, spoken or written, are powerful enough to betray the generation of people around us is a sobering truth. "Betray" is a strong word. It means to break faith with someone, to deceive them, or to even help their enemy who is against them. I know I would never want to do this to the people around me, and I am confident that you would not want to do that either.

I continued reading Psalm 73 in order to find out what I should talk or write about that proves my loyalty to others. The answer if found very simply and to the point in the last verses of that psalm, but most of all in the last verse. "But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works." Psalm 73:28

In prayer we need to give away our anxieties, complaints, and irritations (the things that irk us) to the Lord to take care of. But to the generation of God's children around us, we need to tell them of the faithfulness of the Lord God as our refuge. By that we prove our loyalty and care for them.

As I struggle in this lonely activity of writing, I know how desperately I'll need God's help to write those things which builds others up. But I know I'm not alone in needing God's help. Any of us who desire to speak or write as Christians will need His help so we aren't sharp, weedy, and barren.

What Am I Trusting In?

The warmer weather of Spring is beginning to melt the ice off of nearby Silver Lake. However, just last month the lake was hosting lots of ice fishermen. Seeing them out there, I've decided, however, that even in the dead of winter, I wouldn't go out on the ice.

Or would I? Under what conditions would I trust the ice?

Well, I could certainly trust the ice if it was twelve inches thick.

However if I went out on this twelve inch thick ice, I'd be sure to take along some ice picks so that if I fell in, I could get back out. I'd wear a wet suit and a life jacket. Oh, and I think I'd like to have a rope tied around my waist and hooked to a big tree on shore; that way I could pull myself back to land with it. And perhaps I'd take a rubber boat along with me. Then I could climb into it if the ice broke and then wait for the Coast Guard helicopter that I had stationed on shore to pick me up. I've heard air boats that can skim across ice or water are good to have nearby to enact a rescue if necessary, so I'd make sure the pilots of those boats are keeping a close eye on me with high powered binoculars- just in case.

Like I said, I would be able to trust twelve inch thick ice on Silver Lake.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

We say we trust in the Lord and then we make contingency plans just as thorough as my plans for going out on the trustworthy ice. Doesn't it seem illogical if we say we trust in something, and then we don't? I probably need to think about this some more.

Seasons Of Life

A close examination of the butt end of a log shows the age of a tree. There's a ring of growth for each year the tree has lived. Some rings are wide and some are narrow. These differing growth rings reflect either the ease or the difficulty of each growth season for the tree.

In like manner, a reflective look back upon our own lives reveals the years of our growth. There are events we remember that reflect healthy, productive seasons of development. And there are events that remind us of times when our lives seem stunted, thirsty, and painfully barren. Our lives are a real mix of these different kind of times. It is to be expected that there are both pleasant and difficult times in our lives.

Unlike trees, however, the easy and hard times in our lives often come to us rapidly in succession. For instance, I've just returned home from spending two weeks out of state, celebrating with my son and his wife the birth of their newest child. That joy of spending time with them and my grandchildren is now changed to a sad, dull ache in my heart because I won't see these loved ones again for many more months. It was a very happy experience to be followed now by an empty span of time.

Our emotions can rise and fall like a roller coaster. For instance, I was glad to see my dear friend at church yesterday, but today I learned she has fallen, and being severely injured, she is in much pain and needs the care of a nursing home. My time to talk and laugh with her has been changed to a time to weep and pray for her.

As we age, changes in our ability to function like we used to in the past always surprises and shames us. For instance, this day was bright and clear and I was able to accomplish a lot of yard work. It felt good to be outside raking the winter debris off my lawn. Then I thought about the need to change the motion detector light on my garage since it hasn't been working for some time. However, I realized that I've aged since I last replaced the detector, and I knew it wasn't wise for me to climb up on a ladder to the peak of my garage to do the repair myself. I have to accept my physical limitations and will need to call on my son or son-in-law to do the repair for me. It's humbling to have to ask for help.

I've always found comfort that the Bible describes there being a time for every matter that occurs in our lives. God recognizes the varying seasons in our lives, even the varying circumstances or emotions that each day brings us. For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; ... a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance... Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ( only parts are quoted) A God who is this forthright in describing our human condition is the one we can trust, not only in the healthy, productive times of our lives, but also in the stunted, thirsty, and painfully barren times of our lives. His desire is that through all these times, our growth rings reveal that we are growing to know Him better.

I'm Still Learning

You'd be surprised, or maybe not, to know how much frustration I've experienced with my computer as I've tried to set up a blog and get it going. A computer geek I am not!

At any rate, my newest blog was written on February 25, but not published until today, March 4. However, my newest blog is listed as an old one. So-o-o-o, please click on the title over on the side called DAVY DOESN'T SWIM VERY WELL. It's the newest blog. Once you read it, you'll know why I wrote the blog early. One just never knows when a new grandchild is going to be born. I wanted to explain to those of you following my blog why you won't hear from me for a few weeks.

Yesterday in my Bible reading I just happened to read this verse:
When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. John 16:21
Four hours after reading that, my son called to say that my grandchild was born. Rejoice with me for a new human being has been born into the world, and I have the priviledge of welcoming this one into my heart with a grandmother's love.

A Matter Of Perspective

If you're like me, seventh grade art class was where we learned how to draw perspective on a flat piece of paper. We used a ruler and drew lines the way the teacher told us to. After that we learned how to make roads, houses, boxes, and fences that looked real. We moaned and groaned as we learned the technique, sure that we'd never use perspective again.

This photo that I took last week in my back yard shows perspective that can be observed in the real world. The shadows of the trees and the spit rail fence converge on a single point of focus in the distance. However, the shadows of the trees and fence spread out and get larger as they get farther from the focus. Perspective shows us the effect of distance.

As a Christian, I'd like to say that my heart, my mind, my body, and my soul are always concentrating on a single focus. I'd like to say that I am focusing on doing all things as unto the Lord. If I compare myself to obviously wicked people, I think that I'm doing pretty good. However, if I compare myself to what the Bible says, I find I am guilty of being indifferent to the Lord. I don't let him take first place in my heart.

It's a matter of perspective. Either I'm sensitive toward godly things (being focused on letting Jesus live His life through me), or else I've given myself over to satisfying myself (greedy for more and more of almost anything that gives me delight apart from Jesus).

Let me explain.

Some examples of people trying to find satisfaction by ever increasing amounts of experience might be these: those who do drugs, addicts to pornography, and participants in extreme, death defying sports. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. Ephesians 4:19 No doubt you are nodding your head along with me, convinced that this kind of sensual greed is worthy of condemnation. It's like the tree shadows in the sunlit photo getting longer and farther apart, leaving their focus behind. We'd say to ourselves, we'd never be like that! But we are like that.

How can that be?

The Holy Spirit within us nudges us with a still small voice. A Christian must be sensitive to those nudges; God's gentle leading is felt that way. We'd never want to miss those nudges and lose our focus on Christ. But it happens. How can we recognize when that begins to take place? How can we recognize when we are becoming callous to God's prompting in our lives? This word callous in Ephesians 4:19 can also be translated as being past feeling and not being sensitive. How do we recognize that we are beginning to be callous toward God, not feeling His nudges, no longer being sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit?

It's when we recognize we are starting to find our delight in all kinds of things that move us farther away from Jesus. It's when a variety of experiences spread out, enticing us away from our focus. The word "dissipation"describes this situation. Dissipation means "to scatter, to waste, to spend much time and energy on indulging in pleasure".

We'll find our own places of dissipation if we lose our focus on Jesus. For me, it's overeating. It's visiting bookstores. It's an obsession to keep up with the news. For you it might be clothes shopping or collecting new recipes. It might even be busyness in ministry or surfing the net. All of these activities can be good when done under the Lordship of Jesus. But when we find ourselves spreading out and expanding these activities to get more and more personal satisfaction out of them, we're no different than a drug addict looking for the next high.

We need to look at the shadows of our lives. Are they pointed toward a single focus? Or are they spreading out in dissipation?

If we find we are far from our Lord, not being sensitive to the Holy Spirit, and not feeling God's leading in our lives, the remedy is simple. We need to turn from our dissipation's, and focus on Jesus!

Broken Flagpole

It's been a long, cold, and snowy winter. In addition, there's been exceptionally strong winds at times.

After a few days of February thaw, I discovered, to my dismay, my flag pole had broken off at its base during one of the windstorms, and the flag was resting on the ground. I had no idea how long the flag had laid there, hidden by the snow. I was mortified. I knew flag etiquette. My husband was a career military man. The American flag is not to touch the ground! Not ever!

I remembered when my husband was first assigned to Fort Lee, Virginia. One day I arrived on base about 5 p.m. to pick him up at the end of his work day. Suddenly, all the traffic around me stopped, the doors of cars and trucks flew open, and all the uniformed personnel jumped out onto the road and came to attention. Everyone had turned in the same direction, saluted and held their salute. On the sidewalk beside my car, men and women in uniform had likewise stopped in their tracks, turned in the same direction, and saluted. I looked in the direction that everyone faced, but I could see nothing to cause such a reaction. After a minute, at the same instant, everyone dropped their salute and returned to their prior activity. I was mystified. What had just happened?

My husband explained it to me. Flags on military bases are retired for the day (lowered) at 5 o-clock. Military personnel are to come to attention and salute the flag during that time. All over Fort Lee through loud speakers, the trumpet call for lowering the flag had sounded forth. That's why all the vehicle traffic and pedestrians stopped at the same moment. But I protested. Why did everyone face in the same direction. I looked. I didn't see a flag going down. He said that everyone was faced toward the main flag on the Army base. It didn't matter whether you could see it or not, that was the direction to face!

There were other occasions when I learned flag protocol:

• I taught my den of cub scouts how to fold a flag into it's three cornered shape after being removed from a flag pole.


• Years later, we raised and lowered the flag daily in front of our family business. On those days when the flag was to be flown at half mast, it was proper protocol to raise the flag to the top of the pole before being lowered for the day.


• I was the recipient of the folded flag after a military funeral. Folded inside it were the spent bullets from the honor guard's volley in honor of my loved one.

It was for those reasons that I felt shame and guilt to know that I had allowed the American flag to lay on the ground under a covering of snow for days, perhaps for weeks. Without meaning to, I had allowed it to be defiled.

Since then, I've been thinking of other times when we do things unintentionally that lead to the same kind of shame and guilt. Things that we won't ever be able to undo, no matter what. Things that the Bible describes as unintentional sins: "But if you sin unintentionally..." Numbers 15:22a Things like running over the family pet with your car. Telling a joke about a funeral without realizing the person you're talking to was just notified that someone they loved had died. Walking in on someone undressed in a room when you thought the room was empty. Forgetting to put your car in park, so that it rolls down your driveway, across the street, and bashes in the side if the neighbor's restored 65 Mustang. All of us have committed these kind of unintentional sins that we cannot ever make right.

Isn't it wonderful to know that we have a God who has provided a remedy for the guilt we feel over these things. In the Old Testament, there were atoning sacrifices for unintentional sins. They're described in Numbers 25. However, now there is the better way that sin has been dealt with. Jesus Christ came as the final atoning sacrifice for all sins. We no longer have to carry the guilt and shame of unintentional sins (or deliberate sins). When Jesus was dying on the cross, he said, concerning those who were putting him to death, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." Luke 23:34 The rest of the New Testament testifies that Jesus continues to ask this of God on the behalf of all mankind, and especially on behalf of those who call Him Savior and Lord. Isn't this a comfort?

Davy Doesn't Swim Very Well

"Davy doesn't swim very well," my daughter said.

I had just hung up the phone from talking to a friend. I turned around and looked at my daughter. She stood in the open door, bundled up in her winter coat from playing outside.

Davy was the same age as my daughter, three years old. He was the next door neighbor's child. She and Davy played together all the time. Davy shouldn't be swimming. It was winter in New Jersey. Something wasn't right.

"Show me where Davy is," I said.

My daughter took off running as fast as her little legs could take her. I followed. I remember feeling the cold sand underfoot through my stocking feet. We ran through our back yard gate, across a couple of the neighbor's yards, and through the open gate of a chain link fence. There ahead of me was a swimming pool half filled with water, crusted over with a thin sheet of ice. In one corner of the pool the ice was broken, and Davy was floating face down in the water. The air trapped in his winter coat held him up.

Horror filled me. I screamed at the ghastly sight; I let out a blood curdling scream of terror. People from the nearby supermarket parking lot and people from up and down the street heard it and started running in our direction.

Although I can swim well, I remember evaluating the situation. I saw that if I jumped into the water near Davy's body, I would still be able to hold onto the edge of the pool for my safety. I jumped! Once in the icy water, I knew I had to throw Davy up and out of the pool. Holding the edge of the pool for leverage, I reached out with my other arm, putting my hand squarely under Davy's belly, and I heaved with all my might. I was able to throw him out onto the pool deck. I remember hearing the clunk of his head landing on the concrete.

I don't remember how I got up out of the pool. Adrenalin must have given me strength to pull myself out. Kneeling by Davy's side, I turned him over and saw his blue face. I tipped his head back and began to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. After a minute or two, I looked up to see people racing toward us from all directions. My children and the neighborhood children were the first to arrive since they had been playing close by. Next I saw Davy's father crashing through brush and leaping over a couple of fences. As he arrived, I turned over the attempt at mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to him. I herded up all the children and took them into my house. I didn't know what the outcome would be; I wanted to shield the children from the worst.

Davy began breathing again, and he want by ambulance to the hospital. He stayed there overnight and was home the next day. He was fine and had no aftereffects. Davy and my daughter played together often after that.

I learned something very important from that emotional ordeal. At that time I was a busy mother~ watching children, doing housework, being the family chauffeur, catching up on news over the phone, teaching Sunday school, etc. I immediately realized that if I had not been hanging up the phone on that fateful day, I would have not paid any attention to my daughter's remarks. I would have been absorbed in my own thoughts and conversation on the phone instead. In other words, if I hadn't been hanging up the phone at the very instant Davy needed rescuing, Davy would not have survived. And who knows? Perhaps my little daughter would have gone back by herself to try to help Davy, and she would have ended up in the pool, too. I shudder, even now, to think of such a probability.

In our complicated society, we're tempted to multi-task and not listen to the people right around us. We're proud to be busy doing many things at same time. But, I wonder. How necessary is it? Isn't most multi-tasking just vain attempts to demonstrate to ourselves or to others how indispensable we are? Or how bored we are with our present circumstances or company? In the book of Jeremiah, God says over and over to His people "Listen!" He was telling His people to listen to Him. But He also wants us to listen to one another. "Take note of this. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." James 1:19

It'll be a couple of weeks before I write here again. I'm going out of state to visit my family. During that time I'll not be blogging. For you see, something else is more important to me. A new baby has arrived and needs to meet her grandmother. You can be assured that while I'm with my out-of-state family, I'll listen to the grandchildren tell me about their skinned knees and the spider they found on the floor. I'll listen to my daughter-in-law tell me all about her labor and delivery. I'll listen to my son talk about his work. I'll listen to their silly jokes and their hopes and dreams.

I'll choose to listen, not only because I love my family, but because God has told me to.